I was walking home from work the other day (true story), when high above me, I hear “Caa, ca Caa! CAAAA!” Up go my eyes, and what do I see? A crow, chasing down a seagull.

Now I hate crows, so from the get-go, I was team-seagull. Not that I love seagulls… I guess they’re the lesser of two evils. I watched for a good minute before they flew beyond my sight. My vision is getting worse by the way. I just ordered some Warby Parker glasses. Did the home try-on thing twice, and I think I found a winner. I digress…

As I continued with my journey home, I kept thinking of that damn crow. What did that seagull do to piss off the crow? I couldn’t come up with anything logical, so I thought that this could be a great opportunity for a Pixar movie. Crow vs. Seagull… Seagull vs. Crow… Crowmageddon…A Birds Life… the title isn’t the important thing right now, there’s plenty of catchy options. What’s important is that the crow is voiced by Russell Crowe and the seagull by Steven Seagal… that’s the formula for an Oscar. Plus, Russell Crowe has a bit of a temper issue, so he’s perfect for the role of the crow… practically born for it.