When it comes to The Food Network, their shows and “stars” can be placed into any of three categories: good, bad, and ugly. Let’s get into it!

THE GOOD

• Iron Chef: The only show that I consistently watch on TFN.  It’s fun watching Morimoto, Bobby Flay, and Mario Batali create five awesome looking dishes in just an hour.  I love trying to guess what the secret ingredient will be before it’s revealed. I’ve never gotten it right, but I’ll keep trying.  “And the secret ingredient is…… rat poison!!!”

• Barefoot Contessa: I wish I knew Ina Garten. She seems like one of the nicest people alive. And her voice!!! So soothing.

• Giada DeLaurentiis: Ahem.

THE BAD

• Paula’s Best Dishes: Yes, the name of this show is an oxymoron, as I’ve said before. Mrs. Deen is a pervert and makes disgusting food.  Nuff said.

• Semi-Homemade Cooking: Sandra Lee is bad. Really bad.  She hardly cooks, yet TFN refers to her as a “culinary expert”. A culinary expert that creates such culturally sensitive dishes like the Kwanzaa Cake.

THE UGLY

• Guy Fieri and Anne Burrell.  Are they for sure not related? Not twins?  They sure as hell are frightening to look at.